Humorous Quotations



Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams, "Last Chance to See"

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
Albert Einstein